191012

by

fifty ate

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything" (James 1:2-3).


No pictures today!

Woke up at 12pm... Spent the whole day literally on my laptop watching Border Security LOL. I was hoping that the group was going to do something today... but not much happened.. they all had stuff to do.. so yeah... only spent $2 today W00T!

Anyway..


Towards the end of the night.. I got into an argument with Lyna because of a misunderstanding and because of my pride.. I didn't quite take her 'opinions' well about how she doesn't like my one word answers in SMS' or Facebook because I felt quite wronged as she was saying that it gives people the impression that I don't like them... and that some of the people in our group have felt that way.
Furthermore, she also felt that I didn't want to spend time with her because I wouldn't include her in conversations or outings... But I don't think it's true because it's quite the opposite.. I want to include her in everything but most of the time she says she's busy or she's not in the mood.
BUT apparently, when she says that she's not in the mood - it's code for "I don't like the itinerary or the people going so I'm not going"... and that I was supposed to be able to decode that..
Anyway at the end of it.. It was a constant debate surrounding who did what wrong and what we should do in the future... She wasn't very happy with me and of course I wasn't very happy with it all...

When we were talking about it on the phone, she said she didn't want to talk about it so she said bye... and I, in my frustration, hung up... 
After a couple of minutes thinking about it.. I realise this wasn't very loving and I wasn't too comfortable sleeping without sorting this out... In the past, I've seen real friendships being destroyed over a stupid argument that should have been sorted out the moment it posed a threat... And so I called her again and asked if she had time to talk it out...

We ended up talking for half an hour and by the end of it.. I apologised for getting angry and for my lack of insight into how she felt.. She apologised also for saying it as if I'm the one to blame and we ended up laughing at the fact that we talked for 30 minutes straight..

Last night, after karaoke, she told me that she's going to miss me (and everyone else) and that I was one of the few people she enjoys hanging out with... When I remembered this, I just couldn't leave our friendship in ruins..

It was ridiculously hard to lay down my pride, especially when I felt I didn't do anything wrong, but for the sake of friendship and disputable matters.. my pride traded for reconciliation was an infinitely more valuable deal.

We ended the call on a very positive note with no feelings of hatred, anger or irritation.. She mentioned she was at a house party at a dormitory 15 minutes away with Nicole... And I, knowing that it was a cold night and that both of them probably aren't wearing enough warm clothes, I walked to the dormitory with a scarf hoping it would be of some help... And just to make sure that by seeing Lyna after the talk meant that I wasn't awkward or that there was a barrier between us.


I have made some really great friends here.. After spending a quick 2 months with them, we have grown quite close to each other.. We've been through stressful times, happy times and also times we disagreed with each other... But deep inside, we all know that we only bother with each other because we care... 



This has also given me fears of how I may treat my friends back in Sydney if I ever get into an argument with them... I know I can get very impatient sometimes and I apologise now to anyone who I've wronged in the past.
From now on, I will practice empathy and may God grant me humility during times of disagreement so that I may gather the courage to sort disputes out as soon as it arises.


Thankful: Trials, friends and repair. Friendship is like a sword... You can sharpen it slowly but surely with a gentle rock over time... but by tempering it in the furnace, you can produce an even sharper and a much stronger blade - as long as you extract it before the heat of disagreement consumes the sword.

Prayerful: If another disagreement/misunderstanding occurs, I may have peace, patience and humility.

Dangers: Unproductive days... Lazy and wasteful.