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32. one month since departure.

Today was Church day!

Woke up to a beautiful sunny day.. But I got distracted and left the dorm quite late [1.20pm].. and got to Church at 2.05pm.. =[ Wooops..

Today's teaching was on Faith.

What is Faith?

Hebrews 11:1 lays it out quite nicely: "Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see."

Pastor Douglas talked about Faith from Luke 18:35.. the Jericho scene of Jesus and the blind man who cried out so desperately as Jesus walked by.
Twice the blind man called out "Son of David, have mercy on me"... the second time with a more desperate tone [The pre-translated word(s) for "cry out" were different in these two instances.. the first being one associated with 'pain' and the second almost out of 'anger/frustration'].
The bystanders who were there told the blind man to be quiet after his first cry, which was why his second cry was one out of frustration.

There is a lesson or two to be learnt here... When we cry out to God in prayer and petition, do we do so continually? When other people or other obstacles surround us and try to tell us to be quiet and stop praying, do we pray all the more? Do we cry out to God even louder?

The speaker then talked about what it meant to have faith in Jesus our Lord... In Luke 18:35-43, it is said that it was the blind man's faith that saved him...
Having faith in Jesus meant that the blind man 100% knew Jesus was the only one who could heal him. Without hesitation or any speck of doubt, he pursued Jesus with what he could and sought for a specific deed from Jesus - to restore his sight.

If Jesus were to walk down the UNSW walkway, or the church aisle, what would you say to him? Would you just say "Thank you Jesus!" or "You are awesome!"... Or would you cry out in desperation for him to answer what it is that is bothering you right now. Relationships, school, a job, a sickness or where you stand with God... Whatever it is you are desperately anxious about, are you willing to get down on your knees and cry out to Jesus desperately?

Or are you choosing not to do it because you have no faith.
Not sure about you, but for me, when I don't pray for something it is usually because I think it is such an absurd and impossible prayer to answer. It could be guidance for a relationship that I've been investing in lately but see no real hope for it to happen, or it could be for some miracle to happen in my exam room where my stress and fear of failing won't become a mental obstacle.

When Peter and the other disciples were fishing, and Jesus appeared to them on the water asking Peter to come. For a moment, Peter too began to walk on water but only to sink when the waves and wind rocked his steps. Jesus then saves him from drowning and says "You of little faith, why did you doubt?"

Sometimes I'm like this... There are times when I feel like I am walking alongside God, steady and firm... But when the waves of temptation and struggle come my way, I sink and I sink very deep. 
Today's talk then made me realise... where then have I placed my faith?

Have I anchored my faith on money? My own power? Relationships? That one girl who I believe can help me grow in the Lord? Whatever it was... if my world was ever shaken and I began to sink, it was definitely because I was not anchored on Christ, the Solid Rock.

There are times when God lets you sink... Though He will never leave you to drown, He will test you. To see where you have placed your faith. When your world is shaken, will you stand firm? Or will you sink. Have faith in the Lord your God, who is above all things. The enemy is under His feet. All creation bows in worship. He is the God over all - your problems, your sickness, your anxieties.. 

["If you have come to church today and you feel guilty, condemned and distant from God... that is not from God. If anything, God wants you to dwell near Him; whereas the devil would rather you be drowned in guilt and separation from God."]

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Small groups have started!
But mine is on Wednesday =]



A beautiful day. Ducks on the water.

When I got home from church, I went on FB... and found this picture...



This was the MT that I didn't go on... I was speechless when I saw this because... that is a cross in the background.
This is/was a place of worship. Even though I believe worship isn't bound to a specific place... Regardless, this room is/was intended for worship. To have turned such a room into a den of iniquity is just beyond words...
You wouldn't go to church with the intention to meet God and His people whilst intoxicated would you?

I know the drinking culture here is reckless.. but this is just disturbing.

But to look at it with a brighter light... May that cross in the background somehow speak to those who attended and may God do what He will for them.


For those who read yesterday's post... I talked about getting angry and doing something I regret out of jealousy...

Yeah, well tonight I apologised to Lyna and the others because I did not feel right and I knew Lyna was affected severely by it..
I explained to her the situation and we're still trying to get over the problem. At the very least, reconciliation has been made but our friendship won't be the same at least for now...

But I would rather awkwardness than hidden negative feelings that have not been relieved.


On another note, I have booked the accommodation where my family and I will be staying in January when they come here =].

I'm very excited and I hope they are too.

It's been a refreshing and awesome day... A perfect start to a new week.


Thankful: Church day and being able to sort things out with Lyna and the others after last night.

Prayerful: Lyna will be able to forgive me and get over the awkwardness. In future, may I act properly and with self-control around them.

Dangers: I'm getting conscious about my looks again... In a country where looks are so important to people, it is rare to go through a day without people giving you judgmental looks about what you are wearing.