220912
by obedoei
31.
Wow... it's already been one month here in Korea... Time does go fast... 9 more months to go!
Today was a mixture of all sorts of emotions..
It started with Panic, as Nicole called me at 7.50am... 10 minutes after the proposed meeting time in front of the dormitory for an 8am departure from the University for our excursion.
The culprit was not my late sleeping pattern... but rather this lousy Alarm...
Notice Alarm volume.. 0... sigh... I woke up on the first vibrate of my ringtone. Thanks Nicole!
The last time something like this happened was before work on a Sunday when I woke up 10 minutes before my shift... but managed to get ready in 2 minutes and got to work 3 minutes late.
Second emotion: Regret.
We didn't leave until 8.40 or so... because we had late-comers anyway... I skipped breakfast, didn't shampoo hair, forgot my sunnies, etc..
Meeting place outside of the nearby University Stadium.
Bus trip!!
'Twas a foggy day with a rainy forecast.
Excitement/Hunger
Oh man was I hungry... Should've bought snacks or something for the bus trip....
But we arrived at Yangpyeong [Boritgogae Village] an hour and a bit later.. and I managed to get perhaps 10 minutes sleep on the bus... It was nowhere near foggy/rainy here... in fact the total opposite. Hot, humid and sweaty.
The village is smack back in the middle of 3 huge mountains and a lot of smaller valleys/hills... so there is hardly any wind coming into the village; leaving it rather humid and warm throughout the year.. even in winter.
2012 Hanyang University Excursion banner.
After our introductions and what-not.. we got split into two groups. One group was the English speakers.. and the other, Chinese speakers. It was an even split, so it was the easiest to co-ordinate.
Our group headed over to make Tofu and Rice Cake.
DOGS.
Embarrassment then filled me because I dislodged the top stone out of this Soybean grinder tool. [Not in this picture... but just imagine the 'head' of the tool coming off and making a loud BANG. The other guys in the group thought it was funny to laugh at my misfortune.].. It wasn't broken, but the tour guide giggled and said "slowly".
This is the Liquefied Soybean ready for massaging.
YE.
Hardworking grandmother cooking the Tofu.
Humble little village.
The Tofu with soy sauce + Chilli... So fresh and so yummy.
They served us Makgeolli as well.. It was soo much better than the ones you get in the bottles. Fresh, Clean, Non-Carbonated.
Going inside to make our rice cakes.
Guy explaining all the traditional Korean farming tools.
Our plate.
Me and Nicole.
My flower that ended up looking like a dumpling.
Lyna's snowman.
After this, our Rice Cake(s) was taken away to be cooked.. and we went back to the original meeting spot for lunch =].
Met this little guy on the way.
Kinda cute, but smelly.
Lunch was Bibimbap.
My messy bowl.
Nicole's much neater bowl...
Despite the mess.. It was the best bibimbap I've ever tasted... Fresh ingredients with full flavour.
Cooked Rice Cake.
Again.
Lyna's cooked snowman.
Lyna
Nicole
Eero
After that, we went to the Village temple for a group photo [Will be uploaded later].
Freaky door.
Freaky statues... Shawn Tan and Ed Cheng.
Mmm... It's Josh Chan and Lennox To.
After this, we headed over to Yongmunsan (Mountain) for a casual hike + seeing Asia's biggest Ginkgo Tree (1100 years old).
The parking lot.
Their prize attractions.
Me and Eero with three Pakistani guys. Guy in the middle is the koolest Pakistani in our group. His name is Danish. I started a "Danish for President" campaign.
My shoes got wet from that fountain shot above.
We found Peiting Liang, Jackie Liang, Matt Chow and Tiff Cheung (In this order).
Guy got squashed =[. Not by me.
Creepy trail...
Eero being a derp.
The hammer used to beat/flatten Rice Cake... in that hole in the stone.
She had a bit of trouble lifting that up.
Stack rocks and make a wish. If it stays on the rock, it'll be fulfilled.
This guy cheated.
On the way up, we found Danish singing a song after asking that busker over there. His Pakistani friend was next to the camera here recording a video.. and when he asked me to take over the recording.. I screamed into his camera "DANISH FOR PRESIDENT".
Wobbly bridge.
Disappointment. The tree wasn't as 'grand' as I expected.. Maybe I was expecting a solitary tree where you can kinda freely circle it with a group of people.. but it was closed off and heavily protected.
And then it was time to go home...
Slept the whole way back... Woke up when we arrived back in the city. Soooo tired.
We then decided to have dinner at 8pm, but since it was still only 5pm when we got back, we had a bit of free time...
So I read DoaGM so as to not break the Saturday habit.
It was on the topic of Petitionary Prayer. The structure was split into 5 parts... But it was not intended to be 5 separate 'prayers' as if prayer had different forms. A prayer's contents may differ, but it is and always will be a way of communicating with God from the depths of our hearts + soul.
- In Spirited Prayer - Praying in the Spirit... Although to be honest, I did not quite understand this.. I may have experienced it. Sometimes I pray with words, and other times I pray out of a deep feeling of desperation. The difference is that the former seldom feels right and tends to be empty, whereas the latter seems to be like a stream of prayer and thoughts... Letting all my anxieties, petitions and basically emotions out... Most of the time, doing the above without having formed any 'mental list' of what to pray about.
- Continual Prayer - Prayer that is found in all sorts of situations... Praying anywhere and anytime... In the car, on the bus, in the shower before the busy day begins... A prayer life that is continual is a life-long connection of one's soul with God.
- Varied Prayer - Praying about everything... From friends to family, university to leisure. A varied prayer life exercises trust in God in every aspect of your life.
- Persistent Prayer -
"Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak."
Mark 14:38
"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you."
Matthew 7:7
A prayer life that is as if desperate for what it is you are asking for. A prayer life that is persistent is one that says to God "you are the only One who can answer me... for You are the One who holds all things... and for that reason, I will keep asking until you give me that answer; however long it takes."
- Intercessory Prayer - A prayer for the saints. It could be for your fellow brothers and sisters in their ministry (music, evangelism, living their daily Christian lives) or your pastors. A prayer life that is intercessory is a prayer life that remembers a race run together and one that acknowledges our weakness as individuals but strength as a united body of Christ under his leadership.
The biggest impact however, was the part on making a Prayer List...
I am probably the worst in terms of maintaining a healthy prayer life... When I do pray, it is often before I go to sleep... Possibly the worst time of the day to be focusing on desperately asking for God's help. With a tired body and a day already gone; your devotion for the day is limited.
I will be creating a Prayer List from now on where at the very least I can note down what I need to pray for and I will do my best to wake up 30 minutes earlier each day so I can dedicate the day in prayer. For those who are reading this.. If you could remind me now and then of this decision [Facebook: "Hey Obed, how's your prayer life/How's your morning prayer devotions going?"], it would be the biggest favour you could do for me in terms of keeping me accountable...
All the above will require a great deal of discipline.
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After this reading session, it wasn't long before dinner... and woohoo, was I excited!
but then..
Anger.
For some immature and irrational reason, I got angry tonight... and very angry at that...
The last time I was this angry was... months and months ago... I usually have a lot of patience, but I almost lost it tonight...
You see, I was looking forward to a closed-off dinner tonight with Eero, Nicole, Lyna and Nelson... but a few people from the group decided it was okay to invite people I have not met before... I found it a bit rude because I organised the dinner and before even asking for permission, they assumed that I was okay with it.
If I had the slightest bit of humility, I probably wouldn't have gotten bitter about it..
But what if it wasn't a pride issue... and that rather, it was a jealousy issue..
Spending a whole day and practically the last couple of days/weeks with Lyna, Eero and Nicole, I've developed quite a lot of trust and comfort within this group... And if you can picture a box that has been wrapped in paper and tied up with a bow, that is exactly how I would draw our group... Therefore, if anyone wishes to come in and/or members invite other people; I would have to go through the trouble of opening up the box and resealing it - i.e. developing a sense of trust with this newcomer.
The jealousy comes in when you begin to feel as if you're not sufficient for the group to feel complete... where it would seem that members would rather talk to 'outsiders' and thus open more opportunities to evade conversation with me.
I've already felt it twice today where Lyna ran off with Eero at the mountain... And then at dinner, where Nelson and Nicole paired up and Lyna and Eero together again.... Leaving me walking alone awkwardly with no-one to talk to.
When you think of it this way, then it would seem appropriate to have another person in the group to balance it out...
And that was where I realise where I went wrong...
I was getting too attached to Lyna.
I think that the feeling of being needed is a basic human longing... To know that you have something of worth that you can present to someone or a group...
With Lyna, perhaps it has been that the past couple of days, when we've been out, I would be the first person she came to if she needed someone to hold her bag while she attended to something else.. Or she would come to me to bug me and get my attention.
For that reason, when you feel the threat of potentially being replaced by a new guy who you have never met in your life; jealousy, insecurity and frustration build up... and I think that is what happened tonight..
Perhaps it was a good warning sign, that I am too quickly placing my trust in a new group of friends.
To place my full dependence for emotional, psychological and physical approval in them is a mockery to my friends back in Sydney... My true friends who I have shared major events of my life with... Friends who I entrust with my own life... If you are reading this, you are one of those.
After dinner, with much immaturity, I spoke with a bitter voice that I was heading back to the dormitory to rest.
The group knew something was up, but deep inside I knew my sinful nature wanted them to feel that way so perhaps they would feel guilty.
Wrong.
I can't believe I lost there.
When I got back to the dormitory, I felt severely guilty, stupid and uneasy. So I apologised to them and cleared things up...
Although Lyna hasn't replied and Nicole says she has a "migraine", I doubt that is the case... Perhaps we shall see tomorrow and maybe I will need to apologise to her in person.
This is a very long post... But there was a lot to think about for me tonight....
I've sinned with anger, lack of self-control, idolatry and lies.
Thankful: A nevertheless fun and safe day. A cultural experience alongside a group of friends.
Prayerful: My new ambitions and new attitude towards improving my prayer life. The 'Prayer List' and discipline.
Dangers: I am getting way too attached to people here.
