eighty!
Had a good day today.
A day of rest, good leisure and a striking realisation.
THE REST
Read another chapter of DoaGM - Discipline of Tongue.
Our tongue is so small, yet the most destructive part of our body.
So true...
Unlike physical strength that may at most maim temporarily, it is the words that come out of our mouths that pierce to the depths of another's soul.
From that small organ called the tongue; swords and knives come out and is used to either rip others' souls to shreds, or to carve others into a more beautiful being... My hope rests with the latter.
5 Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. 6 The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.
James 3:5-6
The tongue's destructive power can be seen in the above verse... and can come in five forms - Gossip, Innuendo, Flattery, Criticism and Diminishment.
GOSSIP
We all fall into gossip.. Some very easily, some not so... Me personally, I love juicy news. The moment someone comes up to me and says "hey Obed, wanna hear something interesting about ____?", I'm all ears. And so I've been heavily rebuked for this sinful desire.
Gossip can be seen in saying something behind a person's back that you wouldn't otherwise say to their face - usually designed to talk them down or to reveal something about that person that you'd be ashamed to reveal it to their face.
The most common form is when someone says "Have you heard that..." or "I'm not sure if this is true, but...". And do not be fooled... The most seemingly innocent form "I'm telling you this (about X) so that you can pray..." is nothing but pure gossip, just sugarcoated so we would see it as less threatening.
Gossip divides people, ruins friendships and destroys the reputation of others. An incident comes to mind when I was on a road trip with a few friends of mine from UNSW. In my frustration and discontent, I resorted to gossip and a very bitter outburst against a friend of mine. Not realising it back then, my gossip was so disgusting that even now, I feel so much pain that I had said such things about this friend of mine. God bless Matt Chow for being there at the time to stop me from committing more sin and to put an end to my sinning tongue.
INNUENDO
Innuendos can come in all sorts of forms... Sexual innuendos, drunken innuendos and more simply, half-truths. It is designed to hint a fact about something or someone, usually at the expense of their reputation.
When you are being suggestive with the intention to bring down another's reputation; that's innuendo. It can come as these - "oh wow, was last night one of the few nights you were sober?" ... "didn't know that you even had your own bed, with all the other beds you've been sleeping on lately"... or more innocently, "if only you knew (what you did and how it hurt me)".
Innuendos are a way of concealing the truth - half-truths. We are commanded to speak honestly and truthfully at all times. Half-truths may as well be lies in that case. If you can't speak the whole truth, then you might as well keep your mouth shut.
I personally have had my share of innuendos... Being frustrated at people (sometimes my own friends) who conceal certain facts and cause me grief by hinting that I may have said/done something offensive to them - which later results in them holding a grudge against me and I can't do anything to resolve it because I simply do not know what I've done.
And then there's me... Sometimes speaking only half-truths about people or to people in hope that they get the message of my discontentment.
If you want someone to change how they act or the things they say, don't hope that they will do so by reading your tone of discontentment... Speak to them truthfully and lovingly. Don't resort to gossip either.
FLATTERY
Flattery is like an excessive form of praise that is often insincere. It can be seen more simply in the words that you say to someone to their face that you wouldn't behind their backs.
"Oh, you're such a holy person... I wish I was like you" ... when in reality, you have no opinion or your opinion is lesser than what you just said.
28 A lying tongue hates those it hurts,
and a flattering mouth works ruin.
Proverbs 26:28
Don't resort to flattery. Say only what needs to be said. Don't say words for the sake of gaining a good footing in their good books. Speak sincerely, for otherwise it is a lie. Speak truthfully, not resorting to excessive claims that stray far beyond the truth. If someone has encouraged you, definitely tell him/her - and others if you wish (so they too may be encouraged)! But stay away from saying things just for the sake of the occasion.
CRITICISM
Fault-finding is most likely at the core of criticism. It is the act of picking at others' imperfections for the sake of making yourself sound better and more self-righteous. "I don't like the way you ___" ... "I think that you should pray like this..." ... "Your worship leading is horrid." ... and the list goes on.
We often criticise people.. Sometimes we do so in our minds, but other times we may tell them in person. Be careful of the motive behind your criticism. Be sure that your rebuke is out of love and a genuine, humble desire to lead them back to Christ if they may have strayed. Be careful also with the words you choose... Attacking another's self is like cutting their hair - most people do not like change and especially do not enjoy a self-criticism session.
I've had a lot of encounters with criticism... And quite often, my pride stood in the way, leading to anger and rejection... And later, broken friendships.
Before you decide to criticise someone, please look at yourself in the mirror and make sure you've taken that plank out of your eye first.
DIMINISHMENT
Diminishment is a sticky and somewhat hard to understand concept... It grabs bits from the above four and almost combines it into one. Diminishment is when you say certain things - sometimes untrue, slanderous, direct/indirect or overly informative - that is designed to talk down on a person.
Often times, we as Christians, resort to diminishment and believe that just because it is the 'truth' that is makes it okay to talk bad about person X. We should never be a party to slander, and definitely should not raise our verbal weapons against our fellow brothers and sisters.
Definitely a lot to think about from now on... But I believe I have a more alert sense whenever I am sinning with my tongue. There are new disciplines to be learnt... But definitely good ones to think about.
26 Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless.
James 1:26
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A beautiful day... Cloudless and slightly warm.... But it's now 5.27am and the rain hasn't stopped.
GOOD LEISURE
After this, I got ready to go out for our small group social. We met up at Gangnam and headed over to an all-you-can-eat chicken restaurant.
The owners weren't very happy because their business runs on people drinking beer and not necessarily binge-ing on chicken... But we did the opposite.
Their restaurant also seemed like they were approaching bankruptcy.. when we entered, there was no one else.. and when we left, there were only 3 other tables.
The oven-baked chicken was rather nice though! $7. Ate way too much because we ordered way too much.
The prayer walk tonight was postponed due to Kyu (one of our members) having double booked with another ministry - sex trafficking flyer clean up. You walk around the streets of Gangnam and pick up the prostitute flyers from the ground.
And so, the group decided to just continue the social and headed over to a board game cafe - I learnt how to play Clue, and it was rather fun!
An awesome time.
STRIKING REALISATION
This country isn't as safe as I had thought it to be. The current political leader is despised by the Korean people because he is a Christian. Churches here are ignored because well, they are Christian. The youth take church as a curse handed down by their parents. Sex happens almost as loosely as they do in Western cultures - my player friend's words - "I know 2 girls who are ready whenever you are". There is a high teenage rape rate. High teenage suicide rate... And a very high teenage abortion rate.
If you ever walk around the back streets of Gangnam, you will think that you are in Vegas... Prostitute flyers on the ground, dark alleys with dodgy men and 'escorts'.. and a lot more.
Beyond the innocence of K-Pop and K-dramas lie a world much like the rest... Sure, there still remains some goodness and thank God for that, but it is clear that there is no corner in this world where darkness has not reached...
Thankful: A good day of rest, leisure and clean fun. We grew closer as a small group and we look forward to the next few weeks together.
Prayerful: A careful tongue and wisdom to accompany the opening of my mouth.
Dangers: Temptations remain to play a huge obstacle... The realisation that this city offers so much what the flesh desires makes the temptation even bigger.
