Archive for May 2013

Friday, May 3, 2013

020513

two hundred and fifty two

Today introduced probably one of the widest ranges of 'emotional mixes' I've had in my life thus far....
There was ANGER, PANIC, JOY, EXCITEMENT, DISAPPOINTMENT, WORRY, HOPE and back to DISAPPOINTMENT.

Well let's start from square one...

ANGER
One of my room mates (we will call him HY) came home last night drunk off his nuts. He went straight to bed and initially didn't make much of a ruckus... so I didn't mind really.. But this morning (and every other post-drunk morning) was a very different story.

Now to put it into context, he probably goes drinking once every 2-3 days.. He claims that his colleagues drink a lot so he has to drink... But that doesn't explain the need for him to go drinking every Friday or Saturday night until 3am and coming home drunk off his nuts... It's not his drinking habits that irritate me... It's the fact that he should know when to stop drinking so he doesn't come home all drunk and on the verge of puking. You see, he makes these puking sounds and it sounds like he just puked in his mouth or something.. It's loud, disgusting and VERY off-putting... Especially when he does this the morning after - regardless of day and inconsiderate of the fact that I need my sleep.

So anyway.. this morning, I woke up to the sound of his vomiting.. It went on for a good 5 minutes and it was louder than my alarm... When he got out of the bathroom, in my subconscious rage I said to him "do you have like self-destructive tendencies or something? Far out."... to which he replied "Yup" .. but in a very shake-offy way and definitely not apologetic.. When this happened the first time, I told him that I wasn't happy and he said that he won't do it again... But come on.. This is probably the 10th time ever since that time and I've even resorted to sleeping outside so as to avoid him as much as possible. Anyway, even as he got ready for his internship, he was still puking and slamming doors and generally being annoying.. So my morning was already ruined.

PANIC
At approximately 9.30am, I woke up to my alarm - sleepy and really not bothered for class. I went on the computer and checked my email... After sorting all that out and chasing things up, I realise the clock just ticked 10am... half an hour before my class.. half an hour before my presentation. Loveeeeeeeeeely. Haha....

Quick shower, skipped breakfast, blah blah blah.. Got to class at 10.45 and the professor greeted me with a laugh "I thought you weren't coming! Bahaha." Instant relief.

JOY
The presentation went well? I guess haha... Professor seemed to enjoy it and so did the class (except for one person who decided to catch up on sleep during my presentation).

EXCITEMENT
Next class was somewhat more fun, but it was the end of it that I was looking forward to... Met up with Jo to catch up and bum around town. We had a bbq buffet and I definitely ate my share haha. Good chats and good catch up, especially talking about the fun events that will happen soon (MT, end of sem, Philippines).

DISAPPOINTMENT
Well... My one and only grad application got rejected. Ha. Being in Korea, I was very restricted as to the grad jobs I could apply for - being physically absent from Sydney... But this particular company had a subsidiary in Korea so I was able to attend some of their testing in that office... But regardless, I got cut off just before the interview stage. Perhaps I am lacking in extra-curricular activities or perhaps it's just bad timing.. 

WORRY
And then the worry kicks in... What if I'll never find a grad job? What if I'm not a suitable candidate for ANY company.. What if the job-seeking process takes years and years and my future becomes more and more insecure? Thinking about it, this was a similar thought process that I had when I applied for a Christmas casual job in 2010... What if Myer doesn't accept me and I'll be jobless for the next few months/years... 

HOPE
The funny thing was that.. in 2010, I did get a job, but it wasn't with Myer or any of the positions that I hoped for... It was with Luxottica and it was a position that I never even imagined to have gotten. Either way, I was/am 110% pleased that I got it - it was a great job, a great learning journey and it did more than just pay the bills... It was definitely by far a better alternative to any of the other positions that I considered... And so in remembering that, I also remembered that my God works in mysterious ways, and though sometimes I may have a narrow scope regarding my future, my God has a plan for me.. A plan that transcends my understanding and my innermost expectations... A plan that I can place my 100% hope in.
If TRUST is what keeps your legs walking in that dark tunnel, HOPE is what keeps your head up - ready for that light at the end of it.

DISAPPOINTMENT
Right now though.. I'm back to this state of disappointment. The days continue to count down and I'm still so distracted by immature and childish things. It's not so much that I feel the same... It's that I feel as if I've missed the bulk of the opportunities that were initially presented to me. I'm disappointed at myself because I have been ignorant.


Thankful: Presentation was a success despite the two day prep. Good catch up and God's comfort in helping me see the good in bad news.

Prayerful: Against anxiety, against insecurity and for an undying trust in a faithful God.

Dangers: I feel as if I'm losing patience very quickly these days....

leave a comment
Thursday, May 2, 2013

010513

two hundred and fifty one

Sorry... Again a much owed update...

Funny how the last few weeks of exchange seem to be the most dreaded and lengthy times... Counting down, I now have 59 days left - less than 2 months... Not quite sure what to feel... Not quite sure how to summarise my time.

How much have I really changed? Have I changed at all? Is it only my appearance and/or how I dress that has changed? What if I come back to Sydney and my maturity level remains what it was pre-departure.
That very question matters to me.. Matters on a huge level because that was the very reason I sought after an exchange program - to grow in maturity and to exercise independence. But has it just been a year of mucking around? Of foolery and wasted opportunities?

Perhaps as the days continue to count down, and as I approach the true final days, I will give a more thorough summary of my experiences.. Perhaps in the areas of physical, spiritual and emotional maturity.. Reflection is always good and it would probably be the best way to really assess myself.

Anyway...

Today and yesterday I have been working on a presentation for my Transnational Management class... Funny because I had thought that my presentation was due at the end of this month, but turns out it is due tomorrow (and I only found out on Tuesday)... Haha.... Lovely.

Anyway, it's all finished now and it was quite laid back... I'm glad the question wasn't so hard and I was more or less free to respond to the readings in any way I liked. Although I did find out that I have a bad case of habitual procrastination - after finishing one slide, I'd look up a random video on YouTube.. say a cat video or... a car video... etc... haha...

Last night I went to see Iron Man 3 with Heejin.. and it was quite an enjoyable time. Originally, we organised it to be a group of us seeing the movie... But everyone ended up watching it with other friends or with family, and Heejin and I decided to book seats a day in advance out of impulse.. haha.... (Sorry Selina and Sami). Anyway... the movie took quite a lot of stress off me and I was more excited to finish the semester and enjoy the final days I have left in Korea doing whatever I wanted to (sensibly). With that in mind, later that night I booked tickets to the Philippines and also Jeju island (Philippines in late June, Jeju in 2 weeks haha). I am quite excited as I love planes, travel and good people - a good mix in my opinion. 

Today.. I encountered a panic moment... A dumb moment that I haven't experienced in a long time.... I left my phone at a public spot in my dormitory for a good half hour while I walked to class. On average it takes 15 minutes to walk to class and so by the time I walked into the classroom and realised that my phone wasn't in my pocket, I panicked and rushed back to the dorm hoping it was still there...
But after 15 minutes to class and 15 minutes back to the dorm, thankfully the phone was still there! Untouched and not a sign of thieving intention. Koreans are quite honest people and now I've experienced it.

Class was ordinarily.. ordinary. But my classmates all said they didn't recognise me because of my haircut... Wow....
But yeah.. Thinking about it, I haven't had short hair since year 7... So it is quite weird.. That's like almost 10 years... Whew.... But I do like the change - it's quite refreshing to not have hair flying everywhere in the wind and in my eyes =].

From the time I got back after class until now, it's just been presentation stuff and chats with people. Had a lovely chat with Nick about the three G's... Gym, Gold and God. Quite a great conversation... Really got me thinking and reassessing where my heart is.

It's one of those uncomfortable thoughts where you think about where you place God in the area of 'looking good' and your money.

We started the chat with why people go to the gym and where do you draw the line between motives of narcissism and God-glorifying health. You really should ask yourselves sometimes... Do you go to the gym/work out to satisfy that inner craving to be beautiful? Or do you do it to take care of the temple of God, that is your body?

But with the former question, one can phrase it this way.. What is the extent of your desire to look good? Sure, it's not necessary for you to buy those G-Star jeans or those brand name shoes when you could opt for Big W clothing at a fraction of the price... but why do we do it? Furthermore, why then do you get your hair cut by a hairdresser and why do you bother styling it? With those questions in mind, I think it would be safe to assume that every person has an innate desire to look good... Although the reason and degree for such ranges from person to person, I think the generalisation can be made.

In the beginning, I had thought that it would be acceptable so long as it doesn't become an idol. In keeping with the topic of looks - I was once taught that the moment when your identity is defined by anything other than what Jesus has done for you is the moment it all falls apart. It is sad how some people become so obsessed with looking good that they forget that they are and always have been beautiful because of what God has done for them. With that in mind however, the topic cannot be concluded and there is a need to further explore this.

To tie in the above topic and the next topic, we should look at the basic human nature to satisfy a want/need. Of course one would be able to tell the difference between buying certain clothes out of necessity and buying certain things for the sake of an obsession with luxury. Where the former satisfies a need, the latter satisfies a want. Stemming beyond idolatry, there is another calling for wisdom.... Sure, even if you purchase things out of necessity and that your usage of your financial blessings isn't an idol, there must be a need to consider how to wisely spend your money. With that then, Nick and I further discussed as to where you would draw the line.

A really hard concept to be honest... In considering wisdom when it comes to finances, you begin to consider whether or not you really need that ice cream after your meal... Or even that $30 steak you had at a fancy restaurant with your girlfriend... Or that $10 you spent on fuel to get there... etc...
In considering wisdom, you indeed consider restrictions on luxuries.

The argument then calls to the table - God wants you to enjoy the things He's blessed you with... But Nick then brings in the idea that (I'm) sure God doesn't want you to spend foolishly either. 

It's a really tough topic to discuss... It's tough because we know we all spend foolishly.. We are brought up in luxury and in a state beyond sufficiency. Some of us don't know what it's like to live in poverty and to live underneath that line of comfort... We sometimes spend that $10 note so impulsively and don't even realise that the same $10 you spent on an iced chocolate for you and your girlfriend could have fed a starving child for more than a month. It's a crazy thought... But do not underestimate the HUGE impact of the otherwise LITTLE things that we own.

With those things in mind... From now I do hope I can be more thoughtful with my spending... Before I buy that bottle of soft drink, should I rather save the $2.50 and find a water fountain instead? Or instead of going to an expensive restaurant for dinner every weekend, should I go instead go home and cook, and save that $40 or so? 
There are so many things you can do to save money... And it all has to do with cutting back on the luxuries in life.
Being on exchange has also taught me that I believe... If I stay at my dorm and eat at the cafeteria ($2 per meal).. I can spend $50 at most in a week.
But if I look at my spending chart (I keep a tally of how much I've spent per month).. I've had months where it's $150.. and months where it's $400... And when I look back, yes, it's because I've indulged on luxuries - things that my body and soul don't need, but instead crave out of a worldly desire. It's that $15 buffet you had twice in a week... Or that $20 drinking session you had at the pub.. Luxuries luxuries...

But in summary... we ended the discussion on the note that we really do need some light shed onto this topic... It is a very valid and relevant topic for all of us. We privileged people who live much above the sufficiency threshold and we who have access to monetary earning. I do look forward to the day when my Church or group of friends decide to tackle problems such as these in a biblical and God-guided way. Men's Katoomba Conference anyone? MYC extra-curricular group discussions over free time? 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Below are some pictures taken in the last two or so weeks.. Hehe... Sorry haven't uploaded them.. Quite lazy to take out my USB cable and yada yada...

VEGEMITE!

Sushi buffet... Haha... $10? Pre-study fuel.

My swirling skill.. Or lack thereof.

This was a study day on a Saturday before our mid-term exams.

Studied with Jana. Quite a funny girl, but rather studious to the point where I feel guilty.

Taken on a Sunday before church I think.. A lovely sight to behold.. Springtime is here!

A renovated cafeteria in the main campus.. My campus is becoming more and more modern... But I'm about to leave.. Haha..

This was just last Friday.. Our class pub session with the professor. That's Eric. Awesome guy. Genuine and talented. =]. Korean university culture is quite something.. Thoroughly enjoyed it though.

This was the Saturday after.. Jo, Sami and I went to Gangnam to check up on my eyes.. and had Pizza =].

Potato pizza and BBQ Hawaiian (with grilled chicken).

New York classic and Godfather. SO GOOD.

I bought this suitcase after the pizza because the shop had a 30% off sale.

Vintage-y look but still quite sturdy!
After buying this though, I had my haircut haha........ 

Jjimdak! Soy sauce braised chicken. The Sunday after.

Wooooo!

Yeah it was with this girl. Whilst buying stuff for Nina! Have a safe flight Selina!

This was just today.. whilst studying... haha... Showing off my unhealthy habit of snacking (also a luxury that should be re-considered).

Thankful: My eyes are near 20/20, but otherwise healthy. Exams are over and scores are so far so good.

Prayerful: Really maximise my last 59 days. That's less than 9 weeks but I feel there's still so much room to grow and experience things here on exchange.

Dangers: Laziness, complacency and unwholesome living.



leave a comment